Space! The final frontier.. these are the voyages & encounters of trying to have some personal space to yourself.. and not getting it. Especially whenever your walking about in public places.

When it comes to this dimensional extension while you’re out and about, people’s spacial reasoning leaves a lot to be desired for. From the ‘lovey-dovey’ couples to Mothers or Fathers with prams and just never looking where they are going; the broadsheed newspaper reader who is yet to master the art of folding. Let’s not forget the tourist who never seem to know when to make up their mind. Oh, I could give you a long list of culprits, but lets examine one dangering species:

Umbralleus longtijuvus. Or, in layman’s term, Men with long umbrellas. You’d think that men would take their cue from women who have the rather petite shaped brollies which still effectively keeps out the rain when opened. Notice the way how men hold their umbrellas while its closed. With each stride comes a swing which signifies a territorial marking with the umbrella, only short of you being fustigated or stabbed.

You know the culprits I’m on about, the Regimental Sergeant Major’ : The office type guys based in the city or the ‘Shaka Zulu’ types (Shame on you if you have no idea who this man was!) who swing the umbrella as if it’s an assegei

Here are a couple of tips in how to avoid being clobbered or stabbed by the above suspects:

Walk at a minimal pace (safe) distance: Stating the obvious it would seem, but many a people still fall victim just by not watching their step.

Don’t stay in a country where it rains or the sun shines all the time. (Self explanatory)

Destroy all long umbrellas you find and get smaller ones for any male friends you have.

With these simple rules, you just might be able to avoid being lampooned out there.

On a lighter note, here are a couple of shots taken at the Barbican yesterday night commemorating the humble banjo. The show was called Blues: Back to the Source, and had Otis Taylor, Alvin Youngblood Hart and Corey Harris, with special guest Bassekou Kouyate playing the ngoni:

and the rest of the banjo players:


5 thoughts on “The latest stabbing accessory: the pointed umbrella…

  1. Loll @ destroying all the umbrellas we come across. How are we supposed to shield our heads from the merciless rain after that??? Lolll…

    The first pic…wow…I feel like the instruments were actually speaking, and that the players were listening. Again, u’re excellent in catching the moment. I can’t stop saying it!

  2. Umbrella stabbings? LOL…I was assaulted by a mad boy with an umbrella on 3rd mainland bridge and i was in my car….i was petrified..he kept stabbing my car with the umbrella…

  3. Yes i have seen this type of man. El Stupido!!! There I was thinking I am only one to get annoyed by this. Everytime I see them I want to give them one lick.

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