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So, it’s late at night and I’m ‘watching’ this horror movie about aliens invading earth or something or the other. Anyway, the point I want to make is this: why is it that the bit characters in these films always go exploring in the woods when they hear a strange noise? Why?? Have you seen those movies where some deranged monster/psycho/lunatic/politician is howling and baying for blood and all tell-tale signs are glaring to the potential victims. ( Warning: You are in close proximity to a gruesome end’) And yet, these characters in the movie are ‘compelled’ to explore what’s going on. It usually starts with a I think I can hear something!, or Has anyone seen Fifi the dog?? Here, boy.. come here!! And with that, they go galivanting into the woods where we the viewers know for damn sure that they are going to be ripped from limb to limb, or worse still, fustigated into a sickly pulp for some alien specimen’s consumption. Come on!! Are you really that stupid or moronic to go towards the direction where you know, if you thought about it rationally, would be the last path you go on? I’m just thinking aloud here, now!

So who are the usual culprits that inhibit this foolish, curious tendency? I don’t even need to spell it out for you, but you can be rest assured, without a shadow of a doubt, that you will never come across black people finding themselves in situations where something unholy comes lurking out with the one intention of violating one’s wellbeing. We get the slightest inkling that something is amiss, we run. We don’t stand around delibrating about what to do, or how something came about to do what it is or the other. No, we run. God may have endowed us with inquisitive mind, but He also gave us legs to run with! Ah-ah! Why do you think they call it self-preservation???

These are just my thoughts, by the way. I’ve watched my fair share of horror/sci-fi/thrillers, and most directors know not to cast black people as the initial ‘disposables’. Why? We run!! However, if you do know of a good movie that is an exception to the rule (And ‘Deep Blue Sea‘ doesn’t count!), then drop me a line.

ps: For those not in the know, this is what ‘Oyinbo’ means.

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4 thoughts on “Oyinbos & Horror movie scenarios (and what NOT to do!)

  1. hehehe… it’s a well known fact the black dude always gets killed first. i won’t even argue with that. i remember dave chapelles character in undercover brother pointing it out. if it were ever portrayed otherwise everyone will know it was a lie; fictional as movies are. which is why the ending of that movie (can’t remember the title) where samuel l. jackson was a serial killer just didn’t sit down well with me. i was like haba! black guy killing people… it was a waste of my time. plus i felt like throwing up when he was giving the ‘reason why i did it’ speach. sheesh!

    i guess movies mirror reality to the extent that if it weren’t congruent with what people were used to it would spoil the fantasy for them.

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