Space! The final frontier.. these are the voyages & encounters of trying to have some personal space to yourself.. and not getting it. Especially whenever your walking about in public places.
When it comes to this dimensional extension while you’re out and about, people’s spacial reasoning leaves a lot to be desired for. From the ‘lovey-dovey’ couples to Mothers or Fathers with prams and just never looking where they are going; the broadsheed newspaper reader who is yet to master the art of folding. Let’s not forget the tourist who never seem to know when to make up their mind. Oh, I could give you a long list of culprits, but lets examine one dangering species:
Umbralleus longtijuvus. Or, in layman’s term, Men with long umbrellas. You’d think that men would take their cue from women who have the rather petite shaped brollies which still effectively keeps out the rain when opened. Notice the way how men hold their umbrellas while its closed. With each stride comes a swing which signifies a territorial marking with the umbrella, only short of you being fustigated or stabbed.
You know the culprits I’m on about, the Regimental Sergeant Major’ : The office type guys based in the city or the ‘Shaka Zulu’ types (Shame on you if you have no idea who this man was!) who swing the umbrella as if it’s an assegei
Here are a couple of tips in how to avoid being clobbered or stabbed by the above suspects:
Walk at a minimal pace (safe) distance: Stating the obvious it would seem, but many a people still fall victim just by not watching their step.
Don’t stay in a country where it rains or the sun shines all the time. (Self explanatory)
Destroy all long umbrellas you find and get smaller ones for any male friends you have.
With these simple rules, you just might be able to avoid being lampooned out there.
On a lighter note, here are a couple of shots taken at the Barbican yesterday night commemorating the humble banjo. The show was called Blues: Back to the Source, and had Otis Taylor, Alvin Youngblood Hart and Corey Harris, with special guest Bassekou Kouyate playing the ngoni:
and the rest of the banjo players: