How to fleece & Gilberto Gil at the Barbican

Sometimes, I honestly wonder how people take liberties in the UK and have no scrupples about their actions. I remember last year watching a programme about an unemployed man who had 11 kids and a wife and partner and was claiming benefits of up to £38,000 a year. What kind of message is that sending out? Don’t get me wrong: there are genuine claimants out there that need governmental help, but then you have those who do not want to, and will not work at all!

So, you can imagine my disdain yesterday when I saw this article yesterday a colleague showed me at work: Scratch-card spongers Cheek. What’s really going to make me disappointed (again!) is that the Government is going to buckle to their demands. Man! You have to love this country. So, if you want free money, look no further than coming down to the UK! And to think some people have the cheek to say that Nigerians are scammers! Hah!! Even Oyinbos ‘gbaju’, albeit it legally!!

On a lighter note, here’s a picture taken at the Barbican of Gilberto Gil:

What’s with the jogging?

First off, to all ye loyal readers of my ‘Aworan-isms & Aki’sms, I apologise for the lull.  E ma binu.  You all know what I mean..

If you live in the UK, you know that the weather kind of sucks at the moment. It could be better, then again it could also be worst. With the unreliability of the weather, you’re in the office contemplating how you’re going to go out and get some hot food for lunch. It’s 1pm, you get your massive umbrella and wrap up warm for Central London cold. And then you see a sight that never ceases to amaze you: people jogging. Jogging, kei? During working hours?? In this weather??? I can never fathom that. I mean, nuff respect for wanting to be healthy, but during working hours?!?!  Are  you going to Beijing to represent, or wetin??  “Oh, I do it to blow off steam!” That’s all well and good, but what if you go back into work and you have more problems? Wouldn’t it make more sense to jog after work? Man, the Europeans and Yanks in London love their jogging, o!

I was in the Hyde Park area yesterday for an assignment. On my way down, I lost count the number of joggers working up a sweat in the cold, all in the pursuit to stay healthy/blow of steam. You’d hear a ‘whoosh’ and see pairs of long, short, skinny, stubby, hairy, shaveless (You name it!) legs streak past you. I think I counted about 7-10 joggers within 5 minutes, all around 7pm. What I found more interesting was that all these excercisers were jogging at their own pace and not the sound of a single police siren!
I began to wonder whether you could pull this jogging malarky off in my neighbourhood. You don’t jog; you run, and in most cases, it’s because the police is after you, or a group or hooligans want to stab you, while the police are chasing them. Madness, I tells ya!! If anything, the only valid time, as a black person, you can run without the hassle is during the London Marathon. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “ki lo’n lemi?? (”What’s chasing me?”) Unless there’s an apocalyptic event that needs me running for dear life or there’s a bull on the rampage and charging towards me, or, God forbid, someone going ‘postal’, I-AM-Not-Running! I’ve done enough running in Niaja during student/political riots.

Anyway, as mentioned, went to cover an acoustic set of Ocean Colour Scene at the Hardrock Cafe. I’m not putting any of the shots up because, well, they suck.  So, as alternative I’m putting a shot I took about 4 years ago at Waterloo during the Summer heatwave.  The guy in the shot was so chilled basking in the sun, I could do with some of that right now!

“Get on your Rant Soapbox!!”

The next time someone wants you to do something for absolutely nothing, remember this clip. I know exactly how this guy feels….

And what’s your hobby, young man??

A friend asked me last week what I do to unwind, apart from photography. As most readers know, my blogs tend to be picture related. If its not the 9-5 job (working on a Picture desk for a publishing company), its working as a freelance Live Music Photographer. So, if anything, I have the best of both worlds.

So, what are my hobbies? I’m an avid computer gamer and my current game at the moment ranges from The Orange Package (Half Life 2, Team Fortress 2, etc) to ‘Company of Heroes‘. Yeah, you might call me an ‘agbaya‘ (big baby), but to each his own.

But even then, there is only so much you can do sitting in front of a computer screen with the high possibility of destroying your eyesight, so it’s good to work out your body. I’ve never been one for running, and let’s face it, to try running in my neighbourhood is asking an inviting from the police. I love my volleyball, but haven’t trained for about a year. I used to fight Taekwondo, but I got bored. That is until I recently I found out about Rapid Arnis. Man, talk about a total workout!

Anyway, here’s a full contact sparring session video clip from last week’s training session. Suffice to say I had to break out the Bath Salts…

(In case you’re wondering, I’m the short one… but that’s blooming obvious!!!)

Black Timing…

So, here I am, stuck in bed with some viral infection.  I’d been trying so hard to ward off this bug, but my body finally gave out to it. I called my boss to tell her that I wouldn’t be making it in, and I sounded like Skeletor!

I got an email from a friend of mine who was organising the press for the ‘Celebration of Life’, a concert organised by the Metropolitan Black Police Association to promote the annual anti-violence campaign.  What caught my attention to the press release was the line: ‘7.30pm (prompt!)‘ I had to laugh at that.  I called my buddy up and  told him that of all the press releases I have ever received, whenever it came to black gigs, the word ‘prompt’ always finds itself on the release, but in reality is never really adhered to.  So, You’d think that at a sold out gig like this one that people would still be on time for the show. Hah!! Even during quiet moments of the show, ‘my people‘ just walked in when it was convenient for them.  The same mentality happened during a close family friend’s play which was about gun violence.  The information clearly stated, ‘please come at 7pm for a 7.30 start.’ People still walked in 45 minutes into the show AND during a very sensitive moment.

The sad part about all this is that when you tell people to come to events on time, the normal response you get is, “Ah-ah! You know us, now! We don’t do early time!” No doubt. However, you mention that there’s going to be a line handing out £10,000 per person, maybe that would be incentive enough!  If anyone can please explain to me the mentality behind Black (African, Afro-American, West Indies) timing, I’d be much obliged!

Anyway, here are pictures from Friday Night’s event:

Omar:

Nate James:

 Zena Edwards:

Wayne Edwards: 

How NOT to spare the rod… in the UK, apparently.

I truly, truly believe that there is a huge difference between discipling and abusing a child. Not so, according to England’s Children commissioner in the UK.

People who know me know where I stand on this issue. If you don’t know, please stop by an earlier blog.

Have a great evening, people. Oh, & G, Have a safe and great time out there.

Guinness is GOOD for you(Especially if you’re a Nigerian!!)

For once, there’s a somewhat ‘positive’ story about Nigerians in the News, and that’s in today’s Guardian. Whoohoo!!! And for those of you who can’t be asked to click on the above link, where’s the whole piece:

Why Nigerians love their ice-cold Guinness

Olly Owen
Monday September 3, 2007
The Guardian

Last week it emerged that more Guinness is guzzled in Nigeria than in Ireland, the birthplace of the dark stuff. With 18% growth in the last year, Nigeria comes second only to the UK as the drink’s largest market. True enough, but the beverage Lagosians are busy swilling by the crateful is a very different beast to the pint you get from the tap in Britain or Ireland.For a start, there’s the taste. Nigeria’s Guinness is a thick, treacly tipple a bit like cold Horlicks with a shot of Bovril in the bottom. This is partly because it is descended from the original Dublin-brewed Foreign Extra stout, made extra-alcoholic and extra-thick to keep during long sea voyages, and partly because, well, that’s how Nigerians like it.

 

---

---

Nigerian cooking features solid carbs, chunky meat and bold flavours. A subtle and fragrant pint will not do well in an environment where a whole roast chicken in chilli soup is viewed as a small pre-dinner snack.Second, it’s not draught – while Guinness fans in the UK will insist that the perfect pint is all about the pouring, in Nigeria it’s all bottled. And it’s served cold, cold enough to horrify any British real ale purist. Third, it’s not Irish. Although everywhere else in the world Guinness is synonymous with Dublin, tell this to a Lagosian and you are more likely to hear a bemused, “Oh, do you people have it over there too?”

The malty aromas hanging over the vast brewing plant on Lagos’s Oba Akran Avenue come not only from hops and barley but also from sorghum grown on the southern fringes of the Sahara desert. And while we are looking at differences, the brew is not usually called Guinness either. You are more likely to hear a tubby evening boozer bellow for a “large stout” or, less frequently, a “small stout”.

Although Nigerians are not the biggest boozers in Africa – that distinction usually goes to neighbouring Cameroon – they are uncommonly fond of Guinness. So why is this? Partly, the new growth in sales is to do with Guinness’s distinctive advertising, which leads the pack in a fast-evolving Nigerian media market.

Guinness’s recent television campaigns have mapped out a series of carefully scripted glossy mini-sagas, essentially skits on the frustrations of everyday life. But more than that, it’s because Guinness, once Dublin’s contribution to the colonisation of West Africa, is now firmly a part of Nigerian culture. As you will see in many London off-licences, it’s one that we’re now busily re-importing.

Office sun & role models for black young whippersnappers!!

Well, it’s lunch time at work and everyone is out of the office (bar me!) Office workers all over London right now and making the best of today’s ‘hot weather’ to top up their tan and will have extended lunch breaks, business meetings and the like; any excuse not to come back into the office for the rest of the day. Can you blame them? I guess office shenanigans are where you work.

Anyway, my brother and I were watching BBC news yesterday who were reporting that a recent survey suggests that young black boys in cities across the UK need positive Male role models and father-figures. This is ongoing debate that I personally don’t see an end to. To be honest, I also find the excuse that there are not enough strong male role models an insult to many single mothers who have single handedly brought up kids in a tough household and the end results have produced productive members of society; if anything, the mothers have done a better job than some fathers.

So, the debate continues: Are a majority of young black boys in the UK (Or even the States) inherently violent or because they have to lash out to compensate for their inadequencies? In a society that lacks moral fibre, everyone is quick to point the blame to one person or establishment. In the UK, being ‘P.C. (politically correct) is the line to tow, to the point that the bleeding obvious can’t be mentioned because it would offend ‘sensibilities’. From an observational point of view as a black person living in London, I can honestly say that the many young black kids I’ve spoken to and encountered (and white) just don’t want to work and feel that the world owes them, and resort to violence to show that “they’re the man!” I’m not suggesting for a second that other ethnic groups are perfect, but as black person, I feel that it is our responsibility to negate certain stereotypes.

So, is it justifiable to imply that young black boys are influenced by the their peers, therefore demonstrating how weak they are?

I always wonder how these young so-called ‘disenchanted’ young black men would cope had they migrated to the UK with Windrush and the subsequent years to the 1960s.

Whoops!! Is that the time? Time to get back to work.. lunch is up!!

Incentives to learn? Ye-ye people!!

So, reading the newspaper today, and something in the news got my attention. The Headline read ‘Limo Rides for going to School’ (Metro paper: 17/03/2006) The gist of the piece was that a school in South Bristol was promising pupils a free limousine and restaurant meal if they turn up to all their classes. It’s not the first time I’ve heard of these ‘incentives’. There is a similar programme in other schools in London that also have the ‘Class for Cash’scheme.

I swear you couldn’t make that up in Niaja (Nigeria). Ah-Ah! I mean, Picture the scene if you will: The year is 1989. Location: Ibadan Grammar School. the Principal, Mr Oladunjoye, in his oversized flowing ‘agbada’ (traditional yoruba attire), declaring in his thick Ijesa accent during the school assembley that he is initiating the ‘No Canes for better learning’ directive. The programme includes food vouchers to ‘School II’ (favourite haunt for truants, who, ironically, still made it to class after the first period.) Or how about the ‘Drop offs’; a scheme initiated by the already underfunded and over worked teachers to drop off student’s back home. All this and many other promises to encourage students to attend classes.

Hah! The harsh reality was and is more blunt: Such initiatives would NEVER take place in most of the schools in Nigeria. First off, It would never fly. And even if the go ahead was given, that kind of money for such a plan would have been ‘diverted’ (wink-wink) for other pressing needs. Think about it: money for limousines, meals and Ipods for wayward students, when the teaching staff’s last paycheck was about 4-6 months ago??? Ok, then.

The Cane is also a fundamental figure head that represents the authority of the school, hence can be used as the decisive incentive to get education rammed into your gumption. Give the teacher any reason to use that cane, and you have yourself to blame. Arguing objectively with the teacher in class is one thing, but mouthing off? You’ve just signed for yourself detention, Nigeria style. Going to go home and complain to Mum & Dad that you were beaten by the teacher?? Then you best get your facts right, because if your folks concur with the teacher that you deserved that discipline in the first instance, then your’re in for more floggings, mostly from your parents. If the teacher was not one for beatings, he or she would always opt for doubling any guilty students as farm labourers after school hours. To add insult to injury, you’d bring your own hoe & ‘ada’ (machete), cultivate the land, and see the fruits of your labour consumed by the teacher in 6 months time. (That’ll teach you for bunking off from class in the first place!)

A good education was and is the holy grail that many people had to work hard (literally!) to get. You try walking from Felele, Ibadan to Molete (about 10 miles) early in the morning, and in the scorching sun coming back every school day, just to learn “The Queen’s English”, according to my English Teacher, Mr. Adeleye. Coincidently, I come to the UK, and the inhabitants of the land do not even speak good english. Come to think of it, was all that nought?? (Nahh….)

There are more instances that other Nigerians or people you know that never were educated in the West would be more than happy to share with you their experiences on how they had to concentrate on education. Sometimes the methods were a tad draconian, but it probably worked in most instances. I swear, many children in the UK do not know how easy they have it when it comes to getting an education. I think the spoilt brats of this country should have an exchange programm with kids in other countries who thirst for a good education.

Besides, can you imagine workplaces offering limo incentives to employees with minimum wages just to come in? Productivity would go up!

The Rail services: More Palaver & Wahala for your money’s worth!

Whether you’re a resident of London and have a membership to a gym or lack certain social skills that need improving without wasting money on Life or motivational coaches, then I have a proposal that would not only save you money, but revolutionise and also give you a good work out not only for your physical sense but also for your emotional status. I present to you: ‘The National Rail Workout’-Recommended by Daily users (Limited Edition).

Preparing for a school reunion after 10 years, and you want to regain that lost figure with a quick work out? (Come on, you know who you are…) Then ‘The Sprint for the 7.25 Service to London Bridge‘ (Or any other destination of your choice!) with only a few minutes to spare, comes highly recommended. (Only to realise that there has been a platform alteration, and you now have to sprint back to the platform you just ran past.)

Do you feel that you need to lose weight but can’t afford a massage? Welllll! Help is at hand: The ‘Squeeze intothecarriage 2000′, could just about help you shed those extra pounds off. As a matter of fact, this deal is a ’2-for-1′ bargain. That’s right, folks: Not only do you get a free massage, you also get to test-drive your eloquence skills of “Move down the carriage, please!“ It comes free with scents and smell tasters, depending on the season.

Thinking of testing your blood pressure? Say no more. With train delays & cancellations a plenty and not to mention the continually hike to fares, you’ll notice your cardio workout begins with swear words muttered under your breath, and that vein on your forehead throbbing more than usual. (**please make sure that you have a ‘gym’ partner with you who is skilled in the art of CPR**.)

I personally recommend the  ‘How to improve your stereotype‘. Do you normally notice anyone who is of Arabic, Asian or African origin with a big bag? Then its high time to move away from said characters, pronto. And if you happen to be of said origin, then you’ll get to meet British ‘Bobby’ (police), who will regal you with quotes from The Terrorism Act of 2000: Section 14, which states that the police can stop you at random and check your belongings. (It’s happened to me twice, so I should know!) Please do not try running on a platform if you’re carrying a big bag. If they order you stop, please, for the love of God: STOP!!

Don’t delay, Join up now!

***DISCLAIMER***

***Subscription is open to those who have to make their way to work on a daily basis. Membership comes with a no money back guarantee. If you are not satisfied, and are still persistant for a refund, then you might be lucky in contacting customer liason office of the services providers, who will provide forms that just don’t seem the hassle to fill. If you feel that the above quote seems too much aggro than its worth, then you can either invest in a car which will definately bring more problems than its worth. Besides, You’d be better off walking. At least the environment would appreciate it***

Have a blessed Day.

A small light can dispel great darkness.