Cacophony (kuh-kof-uh-nee) : Within a musical definition, it is the frequent use of discords of a harshness and relationship difficult to understand.
Singing is not for everyone. There are those who are gifted with the power of vocal talent, pitch & harmony. And then there are those who should never, ever, ever open their gob, yet alone pick up a microphone, and try to sing.
Take my Neighbours for instance. These guys CANNOT sing. They have karaoke sessions every so often that is so bad, that I’ve even had to get the local council involved. Let me break it down to you as to how bad their ‘vocal charm’ is: If you were either faced with hordes of the living dead or sit down through a session of my neighbours ‘singing’, I’d say that you’d have a pretty good chance of actually surviving the zombies. Come to think of it, the zombies would probably want to succumb to death again after hearing these guys sing. It is that bad. Picture the worst entrant to any of those popular talent programmes, throw in a cat being strangled, and presto: you’ve got ‘Neighbours Got No Talent‘. You know what: if any of the political parties have in their manifesto the power to imprison bad singers, they’ve got my vote!! By The Great Pix!! Their singing should, nay, MUST come with a health warning to anyone who has the bad misfortune to even hear one note sung by these ‘cacofonically’ challenged people! I mean, you MUST be tone-deaf to not how bad you sound!!
Then you have real talent. Someone like Ms. Fantasia Barrino. To be honest, with a name like that, you’d better produce the goods. For those of you not in the know such as myself, Ms. Barrino won the Yank version of Pop Idol back in 2004. Don’t let that ‘accolade’ fool you: she’s really good. Well, she’d have to be, considering she’s had 5 Grammy nominations. With her only performance in the UK ever, she pulled out all the stops at her gig at London’s O2 Indigo:
I can see why she won that season’s crown. She’s good!
I had no idea of any of the songs she sang, but the crowd seem to be happy, so I guess that counts. And check out her heels! There I was thinking how was she going to cover the whole set wearing those contraptions, only for her to take them off within 3 minutes of coming on stage!
To be honest, I don’t know what possessed Ms. Fantasia to ask the crowd to come into the photographer’s pit, but it just turned to pandemonium. I love music like the next person, but my priority is my gear, so I only stayed for about 10 minutes of the gig before leaving. Hope she & everyone else had fun, though.
Pax vobiscum, pilgrims!
ps. A quick correction: she’s been nominated 8 times for a Grammy. All in due time, I believe. Thanks for the info, Nicole.